shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
