Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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