come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You took a bar mat shot.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
did i just pee glitter
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
