Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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