I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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