Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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