She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
