lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
