Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
