is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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