Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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