it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
