there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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