theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
