Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
