haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
