One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize