All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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