It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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