I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
