We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
