How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
