My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
