And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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