Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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