'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
