Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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