Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
