I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm just crazy horny about you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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