NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
