At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
