Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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