I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize