Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
