carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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