I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize