We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
