Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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