We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The air taste purple.
Randomize
