We won't sleep together?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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