So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
