laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
