you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
