We won't sleep together?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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