I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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