Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
