I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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