its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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