So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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