I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
