I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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