the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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