Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
