Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
