Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
