guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
