she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
ok first of all what the fuck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
