forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
