I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
