There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
