My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
