guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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