you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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